A Solution to the Transgender Bathroom Dilemma
Photo by maveric2003
I have been doing a lot of thinking about an actual solution to the issue of transgendered persons using public restrooms in private businesses. Yes, I know that our city commissioners already think they have done it by telling all the restaurant owners in Gainesville that they must let any man be guided by his inner sense to use the women’s room if he chooses, but I think we can do better than this.
I arrived at the solution after reflecting on a few remarks by our mayor on the night of January 28th, asking a question that had never been put to the public until then, “What other solution do we have? I am open to that,” or something like that. This followed an earlier defense that she made of the ordinance, stating that transgendered persons who are in the process of having a sex change are often acting under doctor’s orders to start living like the sex they will become. That includes dressing and acting and even using the person’s future rest room facilities.
Tempers were pretty high that night, and probabaly not conducive to creative thought. But this excuse about “doctor’s orders” kept buzzing around in my head until it hit me: Transgendered persons should have a note from their doctor in the event that they are challenged. I mean, other people are expected to have a note from their doctor if they are to be excused from the performance of their duties. Why not transgendered people? The city could still pass its silly ordinance, so that the doctor’s orders would be enforceable, and nobody would probably notice anyway, since all they would see is a woman going to the ladies room. This only removes a person’s ability to identify themselves as transgendered “on the fly”, which is what alarms those who are against the ordinance. For a sexual predator to be able to defend himself, when caught, by merely lisping and mincing out of the stall (I mean, the ordinance does say they can be identified by mannerism), puts the public at risk in a way that is not resonable to defend the rights of a person with an actual medical condition to use public accomodations.
This is probably the ultimate compromise. Not everyone will be happy with this. But it would get the job done for that tiny number of people who just want to use the loo that lines up with their treatment. And it would show some actual leadership at the top. It would derail the ballot initiative. It might even get someone re-elected.
You can thank me later. Just don’t name it after me…
Hey, Don;
Love your condescension!
Do women ‘lisp and mince’? Are they effeminate? And I really love your “But this excuse about “doctor’s orders””, suggesting that even if medical people trained and experienced in rare forms of gender expression vet transgenders as actually being transgender and not your dream uber-pervert, that even with that doctor’s diagnosis, being transgender ‘jus’ ain’t raht..’
In the past 15 years, 13 states and more than 90 cities and counties _ home to roughly 40 percent of the U.S. population _ have passed measures banning various types of discrimination against transgender people. That’s roughly 30,000 post-op male-to-females using the public ‘loos. That’s plenty of time, in some cases, 15 years, and opportunities for a predator to get the idea, “Hey! I could put on a dress, a wig, high heels and make-up, and…” There just has to be news stories on exactly such incidents. Show me one, with hard evidence. An arrest record, a factual newspaper article. There has to be lots to choose from.
Predators are male in spirit. Give a real guy — a through-and-through guy — a purse or a bouquet of flowers to hold in public, and he’ll hold those female -things- at arms’ length as if to keep from getting any effeminate-ness on him. Climb in a dress? He’d die first.
But, thanks, I guess, for coming up with some sort of compromise that makes you feel better. Will you accept my drivers’ license, my passport, or my birth certificate? All show that I failed sex…
Hazumu (sarcasm used for instructional purposes only.)
1I’m sure I don’t know the steps to this dance, but I am making an honest effort. I’d appreciate an equally honest effort at listening.
For one, I didn’t write the ordinance. It says that the person can identify him/her self by MANNERISM. Apparently, any mannerism will do. I’ll let you choose.
For another, no one is saying that predators will start dressing as women to get into the ladies room. The ordinance says that all the perpetrator has to do is say that he FEELS like a woman to get himself out of trouble. That is ridiculous. Let REAL transgendered people have the legal protection they need. Let’s NOT create a shield for the predators.
2Don;
I can see where you’re coming from. I hope you can see where I’m coming from.
I’m calling you on using language that connotes that transgenders are children of a lesser god, at best. ‘Politically correct’ language is an attempt to de-barb the rhetoric that says ‘I’m automatically better than you’. Example: What’s a word that describes an African American (the current neutral-connotation term — at least until it accretes negative connotations and we have to find a new term,) but describes them as being automatically inferior. Here’s a hint, it starts with the letter “N”. Because of the profound negative connotation, it’s become a power word, and a fightin’ word.
‘Bio’-women are never described as ‘lisping’, ‘mincing’ or ‘effeminate’, only the male-bodied who exhibit such female-typical behaviour. If I make a conscious effort to listen, will you make a conscious effort to monitor your choice of words with an eye to eliminating such negative-connotation words?
I transitioned at work, and still have the same job. I’m VERY lucky in that respect. Most transgenders aren’t. Surprisingly, of the people who know my body’s male (I won’t ‘blow smoke’ on that — it’s my brain that was feminised in utero by the drug DES,) very few are uncomfortable. But some of them are INTENSELY so. When I’m aware of them, and their revulsion, I give them a respectable berth. But, it’s their problem, not mine, unless they act it out.
As to the ‘card’ issue, California has a system for changing the gender marker on the drivers’ license. Google ‘DL 328′. It’s an affidavit from a doctor that states that the subject is undergoing medically-supervised gender reassignment. There are a couple of hurdles to clear which should keep all but the most determined predator from trying to obtain a license for the nefarious purposes so many profess to be worried about. And it doesn’t have the stigma of a ‘special’ pass.
Don, I’m sure you ‘got it’ long before now. But there is a need for the transgender community (600,000 strong) to educate as many people as possible, so I hijacked your forum to do a little educating. I’ll close with one other thing. I was talking with a co-worker about my transition and I described it as trading myself to the women’s team and taking the men’s playbook with me. “That’s what I don’t like,” he replied, “’cause now you got both playbooks!
Hazumu
3The offending language I used was inspired by something I watched years ago as a man I knew was preparing himself for making the switch. He had used all those over-correcting mannerisms (or stereotypes) that are usually not identified as such in bio-women because it doesn’t set them apart in the same way. Face it. It’s more noticeable in a man.
If it was this language that provoked you into commenting, then my rudeness was a sort of happy accident. I don’t consider myself overly provocative, but I hope that I am at least a little bit, or no one will chime in and give me a piece of his or her mind. I’m glad you came, and I appreciate what you have to offer.
In regard to being children of a lesser god, all I know is that all human beings are flawed and need mercy from the same God. Personally, I prefer to deal with my flaws without going under the knife. I know that I have many harmful lusts living inside of me, but I would rather change my mind than get neutered. That may not be a fair comparison with whatever it is that you have suffered that has lead to your decision, but it is the frame of reference that your coworkers probably have. The very idea of crossing that line is downright visceral, so it might be hard for them to hide their feelings. But they should not add to your difficulties by treating you with contempt.
My goal here is to get people to contribute to local politics by participating in the process. I think this ordinance is provocative in the extreme, and that no one really tried to have this discussion first. Since this will only be a political solution, I favor some sort of compromise. I am willing to give something. And I want something back. That’s how civilized people should figure out how to live together, even when they still have fundamental differences.
I hope you keep coming back…even when it’s a different subject!
4I think Hazumu is onto something with the drivers licenses.
5I agree. It’s a compromise I think most people could live with. I wish elected officials had thought of it.
6